In my everything you'll be, LA You will probably never look at this, but I secretly hope you do and it brings some : I know our relationship was very dramatic over the last several months. I regret that I pushed you away when we needed each other the most. I sought more time for reflection and I hoped that our time apart would eventually help see things to improve on and reach a better understanding of us. I think we were on track to be more than just a couple living together, but I felt more time was needed to get there. I wanted to be the person you would eventually and enjoy starting a family. Did you know that, during my minor surgery, I wanted you there with me like you were during the visit? You took care of me before, and I hoped we could start working things through after my procedure. Honestly I didn't initially look in the mirror much after that, but you kissing my scars a few weeks ago has helped me deal with them. I planned to be living together again, as you said back in February. I even told friends we both had that I was trying to bring our lives together better. Valentine's was a good day, I just should have handled parts of it differently for our sake. I was ready to try things 'new as a couple,' and I'm sorry it took me a while to understand that. I thought our lives needed to be more in sync financially, and I should have helped more towards that too. You've been the first person to ' my heart' in a long time. You were different from those I had been with, and that kinda me because it was outside my comfort zone and I've been hurt badly in the past. I liked your family and it seemed like my family probably would have liked you. Hell, I believe one member is probably happier for you now than for me. I'm sorry for not understanding how much you tried to make me happy, and even more sorry for hurting everything beautiful ladies seeking sex OR we had because I was uncertain and emotional. Even when we were in separate places, I would wonder about you in many ways (and I honestly still do). I wish I had more courage to actually get out of my shell, to be more open and assertive. Someday that will happen, and you will be one of those I will thank for it. I feel like losing you has been harder on me than I like to admit. Not even my closest friends see how much. They may try to say I'm better without, but I don't think I can agree. We will eventually see each other again (that's more up to you than me), but it won't be the same as even a couple months ago. You seem ready to move on, and I wish you the best in what may come. Please remember our good times more than the hurt and know I will still have you in my heart and mind.
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